Capello Squad for Montenegro - #1 The Strikers

So Capello has named his sqaud for the Euro 2012 Qualifier against Montenegro and I have decided to give my opinions on it over four blogs in the next four days. To start with, The Strikers. These are the people who will be looking to gain all the glory, the person who scores the goals and becomes the hero! Its a competitive position with only Wayne Rooney's place for Euro 2012 secure - and thats if he doesn't carry on his current dismal form. Capello has chosen 4 strikers, suggesting he will be playing 2 up front and leaving 2 for back-up. So here they are, those selected to go for glory:

The Shock Choice - Kevin Davies
Kevin Davies has gained his first ever England call-up...he is 33 years old. This is the shock choice of the selection! Capello has alway said he will select those that are on form at that moment in time, clearly he feels Kevin Davies current form has warrented a call-up. After all, his current form of 2 goals in 8 has helped Bolton reach the dizzy heights of 12th. Here are three gripes you might here about the selection of Kevin Davies:

1) He is 33 years old - in 2 years time when we come to Euro 2012, will he still be playing. Shouldn't we be building a team for that competition as we have a relatively easy group? Shouldn't Andy Carroll be getting the much needed experience now to prepare him to take on the best in the future? This argument isn't mine - its true - but for me not the main point.

2) He has never played against the best - in his 17 year career he has played a total of 14 European games and scored one European goal, and all of that was in the UEFA Cup. He has never played for a team that has made it into the top 4 and competed against the best in Europe, why is he good enough now? Again, this is valid - but not why I don't want him in the squad.

3) He is not good enough - Now this is why I don't want him in the squad. There is a reason he has never been picked for England before, he isn't good enough! He is a thuggish player who since losing his pace has survived by just kicking more talented players around. He is an elbows out kind of forward, you ain't gonna see many stepovers from this lad. The perfect compliment to the skill of Rooney or the antithesis of what Rooney signifies for England? I think I know which one! In his 600 professional games he has scored 120 goals - his star season is 12 goals in one season...really? World Class? I think not!

The one with 1 more chance to impress - Darren Bent
Darren Bent has been so close so many times but never quite broken through into a regular squad member. His form, this season and last, certainly warrants the call-up and if he brings that form into the game and impresses then he may just push himself quite a lot closer to becoming a regular England squad member - good luck to him! He may not be World Class, but he'll do for a back-up!

The one that could become the opportunist - Peter Crouch
Crouch was there, first team player - but for some reason Capello was not a fan. Was it his personal life? Was it the way he seems to force teams to play Route 1 Football? Who knows...what we do know though, he has a fantastic international record - 21 goals in 40 games, not bad at all! If Peter Crouch starts (which surely he will) and then performs there is no reason why he won't secure a place in the England Squad and make a push for that starting 11.

The Superstar - Wayne Rooney
The man on who all our hopes lie, I hate to admit it but we fucking need that scouse fucker. He was dismal in the World Cup and he has been dismal since! We all know why...so lets solve it...lets get the lad some prozzies! Coleen obv ain't giving him what he needs, he had the best season of his life when he had the wife, the kid and the prozzie...then we all find out, the prozzie gets cut off and he turns to shit. Get the lad laid and then we may go all the way! Come on Capello - thats what we call man management!

World Cup 2010: The Backlash of England's defeat, the Joy of the Germans

So I am sorry it has been a while since my last message...I must say I have not reacted well to England's defeat. Well to be fair, would you have if you had all I had riding on this. I have essentially fallen into an uncontrollable drunken and drugged up mess...living it up in S.Africa as if it is my last days, which essentially it is. The only thing that has broken up my drink and drug binge is fucking and football...the two most important f's!! and to be fair, the binge has often carried on through them! Orgasms on E...my new favourite thing!

Well at least we now all know why England were soo shit...and they did take shit too a whole new level! Though good to see Argentina get completely wanked over as well! We aren't the only team the Germans have thrashed, though it does now mean the two teams I backed for winning the bloody thing have bombed out! Don't ever listen to me! So yeah the rumours have been flying around recently about the sack of spuds that we call our national football team. Word is (and I feel I should re-iterate that these are pure rumours gathered in pubs full of drunken and annoyed England fans), Wayne Rooney was in Rio Ferdinand's restaurant the day before the game and well the News of The World got photos of him 'doing' things that he should not have! Things he has been caught doing before! There are also rumours surrounding the captain, mr 'stevie g' - dickhead that he is - being the third choice for captain doesn't leave him in good stead but when rumours arise of him 'doing' things that he should not be, this can only bring down his authority more. Which supposedly it did with first class prick John Terry deciding that if he had his captaincy taken away so should Gerrard - think about it Terry, it weren't a fucking team mates bird (just a relatives apparently)! I say again these are vicious rumours...but christ they didn't half play like something was on their minds!

All the time they are having the time of their fucking lives, well done for leaving the WAGs at home Capello that worked loads didn't it, I have had about 50 texts from Big John back in London - he wants his money the day of my return! I have no money! I have a plane ticket back home and a shit load of coke! I plan to snort every last bit of the coke through my rolled up ticket!

So as I mentioned I woke up today and noticed the room is a fucking shambles, I am a little worried about what has happened to Daz, Gaz and Butters - no sign at all. All that is in the room is a shit load of used condoms...a message written in lipstick on the mirror saying "Great fuck! Thanks x x " - this makes me grin like a chimp! There are half done lines of coke on every fucking surface...shambles of money strewn across the room (I really hope I didn't fuck an Aid's hooker!)...and no sign of anyone else. And I can barely remember anything after the E I dropped after the Germany game. I remember fucking this black beauty at one point!! Pointy tiny nipples is the memory that most stands out! We were on E so assume that was the first night, and assume that was her lipstick! You might say I am a little calm, to be fair - those three are probably out pissed now. I have stayed in on a recovery day today, watched the football and exploded into the toilet all day! I need a plan of how to find those guys and then what to do about Big John!

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