A New Bet...David Beckham: Could Goldenballs arrive? Could Plucky Parker leave?

A New Bet

I returned from South Africa a very scared man. I had made a stupid bet, I owed a lot of money, and now I would have to face the music. I got off the plane, with my equally hungover friends, and we shared a cab back into the East End. I returned home and crashed out on my sofa. I fell asleep instantly, but was woken within the hour. My door was bashed down and three huge men came running into my room, beat me to unconsciousness and then dragged me out of the flat. When I woke I was sitting tied to a chair; sitting across a nice wooden desk from the man I had sat across from not too many weeks before. It was him I had made the bet with, it was him I owed the money too. He asked me for it. I did not have it, I don't know why I ever expected to have it. He was not happy when I told him I had no money, but he was in know way suprised. He also, never expected me to have it. He was now going to do some very bad things to me. I had one out here, and I used it. I have now made a new bet. It is a double or nothing bet. If I lose I owe twice as much. If I win, I keep my life. I have now bet that West Ham United will not get relegated this season. The odds they will get relegated are around 3:1 by most bookies. Come on Hammers!! Do me this favour! If there is one thing in this world I have faith in, it's that the Hammers will always come through for me!

David Beckham: Could he arrive?

What a great coup that would be for the Hammers! David fucking Beckham playing in claret. He has denied the rumours but we can remain hopeful surely. If he wants to stay in the England squad, as he says he does, he really should move back to the Premier League and he could really shine at Upton Park. Beckham has leadership potential which could lift the entire team whilst at the same time has the skill to deliver results. Beckham is a great of British football and a Londoner at heart, I would happily watch him play for West Ham United.

Scott Parker: Please don't leave!

If I am going to win this bet, and West Ham United are going to stay up then they need to keep their best players. Scott Parker is certainly that. How he didn't get into the World Cup 2010 England Squad I do not know, but he bloody should have! He has been an unsung hero of all midfields he has been in and he has a leadership ability to match Beckhams. West Ham rejected Spurs' bid and I am grateful for it, Scott Parker can lead the team to good times this year and I will enjoy the ride!

England Are Bloody Through in World Cup 2010!

Yes we are bloody through! We always do it the hard way but we get there in the end! Now bring on the Krauts! it has been absolutely mental since that first goal! Sitting there all tense we were, scared off our bollox! I had my bet in the back of my head the whole time! Still can't believe I made it! But as soon as that goal went in we went absolutely ape shit! Fucking Jermaine Defoe! I been saying whole time that he should be in the bloody team! As soon as that goal went in the pints got downed, the shots got bought and the coke got snorted! We knew we were going through and we fucking went for it! Mind you that only lasted until the 70th minute, then the nerves hit in and the coke only made it worse. I was frantic, running around asking people what they thought the score would be...would we go through?...What was the USA score? When the final whistle went I was stuck on the toilet 'relieving my nerves'...didn't stop Gaz coming screaming in, banging through the door and jumping on me in merriment!! He was less impressed when he realised I was still shitting as he was pretending to hump me! But then he just ran back into the bar with the screaming fans! I could hear Butters and Daz screaming "Vindalooo Vindalooo!" as the door swang open and shut! We then downed another couple of pints and have now sprinted back to our hotel for a quick change, watch the Krauts go out as we do, and then back out to celebrate and find me some ladies!