Holland, Spain, Football, Psychic Octopus - Beautiful Day, Beautiful Game

I say beautiful day, I don't neccessarily mean weather wise but I definitely think it will live on as a beautiful day in the memory. Waking up with the memory of a room full of crazy dutch people mid-orgy was very good start! The Holland versus Uruguay game might have been dull, but the after party was not! Hup Holland Hup! was the cry...and I tell you what having a girl scream that as she rides you is fanFUCKINGtastic! Basically Gaz dragged us out with the Dutch bird he has been shagging...again apparently enjoys his pubeless cock! So we went along with her to this bar which was full of the Dutch, already partying as if they had won. Which of course they then did, thanks to a Mr. Robbe and a Mr. Sneijder! So the party then kicked off even more, any niggling worries that they wouldn't win were gone! The dutch bird Gaz was with (fuck knows her name, doubt he even knows) got absolutely wrecked and passed out in the pub...not before sucking off Gaz in the bog!

I ended up palling up with this bird Enid...proper Dutch name, love it!...me and her snuck off and went back to the hotel..took some serious coke that we bought off our favourite Affie helper in the hotel! Turns out that she gets uber horny when high, she basically ripped my clothes off and hopped on me...then she pretty much ripped off my cock as she shouted "Hup Holland Hup" whilst riding me! Was actually a quality fuck though...I let out the biggest grunt as I blew my load up her! Shit didn't use anything...hope I don't get what will now been known as the Gaz-rash.

Whilst I was laying on my bed gasping to get my breath back after having been vigorous fucked by a Dutch women with a penchant for nipple pinching, she got a text. She turned around to me with a big smile and said "Fancy coming for party!" Now I too thought that she just had bad English and was inviting me to a party, sadly she actually wanted me to 'cum for a party'...as in cum in front of a party of people! I followed her, completely blindly i swear, into a party at another hotel...this was a fetish party! Mental! Everyone was Dutch...except Butters! He was tied up butt naked on a bed in the middle of a room whilst loadsa leather-clad Dutch people were either passed out from drugs or mid-orgy around him!
"What the fuck Butters! What the fuck are you doing?" I said over the din (yes I said the word din...I am now middle aged!)
"Oh shit thank God your here!...Get me out of here!"
"Where are the others?"
"Copped off with women..mine bought me here...why are you here?"
"Yeah your judging me...nice!"
I started attempting to untie him when suddenly surrounded by three Dutch women, 1 of which was Erin, they all looked very angry. Two huge Dutch men then came up behind me, this might end badly...they had whips in their hands!
"Why do they have whips!" asked Butters desperately, "Get me out of here now!"
And that is what I did...I launched my head into one of the guys chests (mainly because I couldn't reach his head) and sent him back against a wall. I then launched my right fist and then my left into his mates face, knocking him down. Everyone looked at me shocked as I desperately untied Butters...loads of naked men pulled out their women and came as us with angry faces across their heads...and condoms hanging off their other heads! We both squirmed out the room, recieving a fair few inadvertant cock slaps on our way out!

So that was an interesting end to that night. Turns our Gaz and Daz ended up having the same woman not two different...apparently they tried hard not to cross swords so fair play...Dutch are fucking weird!!

It is for that reason I now want the Spanish to win! And I don't give a shit what Paul the Psychic octopus fucking says before the next game! Wish he was there when I was making my ridiculous bet! Oracle my arse! Still glad the Spanish beat the fucking Krauts...just to shut people up! "Ohhh they are playing too pretty football" - how on earth can you play too pretty football...how can you be too good at the game to score, fuck off if only England could string half as many passes together!

Parties in paradise

You won't believe what it is like out here! You really do have to see it to believe it! Not so much the football, well except sadly the krauts, but the parties are mental. Not had any rucks yet, well a knocked the fuck out of 1 yank but he didn't half deserve it. Been lovin it far too much to get in a barney. It is impossible to nark me when I am in this paradise.

The plane flight was awesome. Me and the lads (gaz, dazza and butters) all got absolutely wrecked. Drinks have a bloody strong affect when your up in a plane. I made a right cock of myself with the air hostess. I asked for my 6th vodka and coke and I could've sworn she was flirting with me, so when she wandered back up to near the toilets are, you know where the trolley dollys all hang out, I went up over to her and asked her if she fancied letting me take her a mile high. She didn't. She did feel the need to slap me and refuse to serve us for the rest of the flight.

So first night was mental. We did some hardcore drinking and didn't even make it out the hotel. Gaz scored some blow off some affie that worked in the hotel. You gotta try the African shit, there stuff is pure! We parties till late and slept through the opening ceremony and s.Africa game the next day. I think the only thing that woke us was there partying, and they don't half fucking party.

So the night s.Africa drew the game and the competition started the whole place went fricking mental. We started with some more of the coke that the affie sold us, gave us a good kick start for the night. We went down to this bar and all the affies were going mental, all the fans from other teams were joining as well. I got absolutely battered with daz and butters and we all ended up passed put on sun beds by the hotel pool. Gaz on the other hand got absolutely fucked, literally. He says all he can remember is doing some tequila shots with this affie beauty and then waking up and seeing the same beauty standing across the room naked. I tell you what though he weren't half fucking shocked when she started screaming at him asking for her money. She was a fucking prossie!

After gaz relayed all that shit to us we trundled our very hungover selves to get some breakfast and watch the football. We stayed there all day and got plied with drink by some beauty of an affie barmaids. The argie's fucking won, but to be fair they look decent, gotta say if not us there probably win the thing. God I hope it's not the fuckin krauts, I ain't come all this was to see that. But rob fucking green! What a twat! He really is a right tit! I was loaded with drink, right up for the game and then he goes and does that. I drowned my sorrow with some wife-beater and we all got wrecked. Then we straggled back to our temporary gaff and some fuckin yanks were winding us right up. Thucis one guy kept fking shouting about how green showed everything about England, "always dropping the ball", he just wound me right up and I ended up nuttin him. Think I broke his fucking nose. Ah well, deserved!

So yeah felt pretty rough today and didn't help having to watch the Krauts light the fucking tourno up. Plus gaz pissing me off moaning about how he is getting all itchy. Anyway tomorrow we can look forward to Japs getting stuffed by the Cammies, got that one down as 2-0 to Cameroon. Netherlands gone fuck the danes 2-0 an all I reckon. Italy is gonna be dull as fuck, I reckon they are right shit. Paraguay ain't bad though, still saying 0-0 though if you having a gamble. I plan to be actually wrecked on the floor by the Itai game!